Our Stories: A collection of stories for your enjoyment.

By: Everyone!

Griff, sat down and had a really excruciating seizure after which he ate Fred's pineapple whilst standing on a humungous toadstool which belonged to Trevour Toady and then flew over to Kayssplace to eat some [something] which tasted spangly with a dash creature poo. He ate it whole and then he puked it up. Looking around, he decided to do something that he thought was impossible. He jumped over [Taz] who ate half of Eden, in one gulp. Then Taz bent, bought a car for one penny then bent over and was kicked really, really hard on his right kidney which exploded in a large gush of blood and tomato sauce which mutated into an effervescent fly fizzing and fluttering biting and buzzing.....until it flew into the lair of the sasquatch that squished it.

Griff, sat down which let rip....with horrible consequences, the most almighty, extremely loud, stupendous evilly gut-wrenchingly smelling, stinky botty. Then came an emu which made him think of how much he missed his mum's fruitcake. "Crumbs!" he said "Why can I never find any nice rotten carrots, not find recipe for slime stew, and greasy dumplings, with cheese on top and fluffy marmots with banana peels?.

Griff stood up and thought that "Gosh I'm tired!" so Griff went to scratch himself.. behind his toes on a tree at 3am when the demonic kitten purred then spat at the chicken then the chicken said "MOO OINK" and jumped at some turtle soup and drowned inside. Then an elephant had an idea to make a large evaporating frog spontaneously combust in a fireball from it's 20 toes which toasted Uranus on a large steaming plate of sheeps eyeballs. Griff decided he should sit back down and greet his long lost cousin Big Bad Billy who was very big, bad, silly and had tea with Uncle Willie. Willie then shouted "Get orf moi... big, hairy, long (! legs which are hanging off my fourth armpit lined with steal and toothpicks?.

Billy swallowed some snails and then he grabbed a cat and ate it spitting out its hairy and 'orrible legs, which ate the other cat. Then there came smelly goblins shuffling and asnuffling, al the way to grandma's house made of slimey green, glutinous, glistening potatoes. He was knocked out by a flying chicken with 9" eyelashes and radioactive boogers which somehow made him sneeze and start to laugh about Oprah Winfrey and doctor phil having the most shiny head here he blinded the two of them And then he stepped in a pile of soupy jello which jiggled and killed BobAshley.

And then a certain funny penguin poked another into an icehole where the giant seal adopted it and ate it's spleen spitting gristly bits at it's neighbour who likes to run around in circles then throw penguins at sharks "Yummy" says sharks, "Owch!", says penguins.

Then santa came landed on the roof of the famous sears tower; he jumped out of the window and landed square on his big, toe. He screamed ?aaaaaarrrrrrrg! my toe!? and very quickly wrapped his toe in swaddling cloths away in a manger and hurting like a thousand little porcupine quills, he kicked some a** and chewed some baccy, then ate some cheese just to get the stinking rotten fleas off of his hairy bum who thanked him and gave him a Merry Christmas.

Griff announced that his estranged wife Mary-Ann Louis, was having a bad hair day all because of her pet cat could be hazardous because of its inventive dance routine which could decapitate anyone that was eating cheese and gesticulating at elderly baldy sheep with spots on their bums that itched like crazy, and grew to enormous size when wet with isopropyl tomatoes and eggs growing on hairy follicles and damaged cough drops that cleared phlegm to help him get better again from his disease and heart-break for his love the mouldy cheese that once sat on his underwear mumbling depressively and inconsistently eating bananas, mouldy yet firm bananas with chips smothered in ketchup and dipped in Big long brown melted chocolate bars it looked like a cat had decided to go inside a cake to find it's very own little new Mercedes Benz but discovered that all it got was frosting damage. So instead he dash to the Springfield Quickie Mart for a slurpie made from doughnuts and camel droppings and some chicks then Apu said "Hi! Griff I'm gonna be frank but you stink of disgruntled pessimists. You should really... wash under your armpits with lots of extremely peculiar burnt tofu logs or just floss?.

Then he went and fired the negatively-charged donkeys positively assing around eating cookie dough with astonishing audacity and very big hooves at a 64.3 degree angle turning one quarter 2 the left hitting the old geezer with a big fat wet kiss on the cheek of a Hampster with pink orange juice and a scruffy goatee and an infested bowtie with two huge purple crabs who oddly walked thisway 'n' that with a feather flapping wildly about but getting noplace. So he decided to eat warbaby's secret cookie stash! "Geroff me cookies" grabbing the nearest free burger store and hitting him with a bemused friendly looking granny decorated with turtles and sheep's eyeballs. The thief was licking on greedily a smallish large blue spotted mug with cowsear handle and opaque spectacles. Unfortunately, Griff was bursting to go,
or maybe he was just feeling sad and alone, that he lost his doll named Sweet Georgie Brown. Griff then shot a spectacular movie which featured a floating Garlic which was doing weird and wonderful death defying stunts with a cucumber, with three eyes looking at him with the utmost powerful purple eyes, which burned colons, semicolons and asterisks.

Griff then decided to eat a HUGE beef burrito, dipped in steaming ear wax. Some of which was curdling his milk which he drank anyways, till he spat it out over his pyjamas.

Wobbling nervously, a crazy cabby chased the wild boar round and round and round and round till he fell flat on a sharp nail. "Yeeouch!" he yelled, dunking his foot in a bucket
of cat urine, which stung like salt on a slugs back. Then he ate a large bite of Tourney's pizza that tasted so good, so he wondered for 6 hours until the pizza was frozen solid like a fizbee. Which he then took a shower and burned his frozen pizza completely. "That'll teach you" he yelled lovingly at the now dead or alive cabbage faced idiot who was laughing, until he combusted into burnt gum, which a cheerleader promply chewed on, when suddenly a nasty tempered, crotchety hungry, stupid mob stormed the Bastille and they almost didn't escape because with a dash of nitrious oxide Sauron's eye turned inwards towards her bum! bum! bum! and Sauron tried really, really tried, to try and stop it hurting.

Soon after this many people were dancing dirty in pink foam soap. "Oh! Bubbles, goody" he said scratching his cat's ear which smelt orangey. After cooking accident with cooking fat sucked from smelly stinky cow poop which was found under my shoe which was in
the cheerleaders backside "OWWWWWWWWWWW!" she cried and cried and ate a cat which tasted kinda like a dog for some reason, with a sprinkle of rather tasty mice whose names were riddles in a historical book, which ate its strange looking grandmother and then horribly belched incredibly loud in the cheerleaders faces. "Yuck!" said the head cheerleader, who worked as a male bodybuilder in cocktail bar, the sunny hooper, mocking bird bar. Watched dr. phil flapping to queen, whose name was unknown to any other mortal that had no sense but to eat fish and chips with a puddle in a bathtub of green slime was just diabolical. Griff decided that he'd had enough of the world so he put
a whirling vortex underneath the white, pristine clean sheets, of purest silken gossamer that floated. Somewhere in the night was something eerily wailing, Griff awoke with a
chicken strapped to a ninja with a sword over his right foot ready to kill the itsy bitsy spider went up Griff's leg. He nipped his hairy knee cap which made Griff giggle all through the three Matrix movies.

Griff's partner Mildred, decided to burp up her lunch very politely as perfect ladies should
but, instead she farted very loudly. "Brmmmmmph" it went. Griff immediatecollapsed!from the stench. Fanning himself frantically with a pancake somehow caused his eyebrows to twitch like epileptic caterpillars. Mildred then tried to pick up Griff's seizuring body and gave him the kiss of the death, unfortunatly it tasted rather weird sort of like licking your keyboard without pants on in cold wind and freezing rain but strangely, it awakened Griff immediately "Shiver my timbers", he said with his nose covered. ?What is that?? Mildred asked insulted. Griff stuck out his tongue at her smoking backside "I've quit smoking" it said loudly. Then it digested it's lit cigarette. "Oooo that was...... really tasty" he said with a strange toothless smile. Suddenly, something imploded, it was none other than the 4.30 train to Mars from the
summit of Mount Smellious in Mildred's exceptionally large cranium.

Griff then decided to revive this odd little oddity. "That's weird" he said, eyeing the green radioactive chipmunk that ate pies. "Where's the TP?" yelled the abnormally physic cow, ?it should be here? said Mildred. However, it may not eat the pies until the new waffle baker arrived. Just then, a giant snow flake fell on top the hormone enhanced because they are enhanced with hormones. An old lady appeared out of a tiny phonebox and screamed "Griff... rub my feet!" Griff screamed back, "Scratch Mildred's Nose!" They both continued to scratch, until Mildred sneezed, causing another farting session then spontanious combusting balls of fire pooped out of Griff's smelly ears, igniting the surrounding performing mimes until they sneezed loudly.

"'Scuse me" said the drunken leprechaun who slapped fenton. "What's that for?" fenton said surprisedly. "Just felt like a gnat bite". Immediately the good-tempered tiger scratched his perculiar doggy ears. Then picked up something that he found in Fenton's left nostril. "Yuck!" ...then ate it. Fenton wondered how scrumdiddleyliscious it tasted.

Just then a big fat smelly pig jumped on his hairy back and started licking his lips because he wanted to taste the chapstick. Griff used it to test the radioactive garbage truck which exploded into a monkey shaped bicycle seat. Mildred pedalled furiously fast to escape from a hungry loud man eating wallabi which found her at sixes'n'sevens, so he could go to the magic shop and buy... Once there he grabbed a candle. Then Milred just smacked him upside
his fuzzy shnozzle which promptly exploded and he died but was resurrected. Which was nonsense because he wasn't a three eyed purple people eater.

Creature poo made him pass out from unpunctuated sentences.

"Where did your antennae go to?"

"I think it went to drink some juju juice for his tummyache" and his pimples miraculously healed, completely!

A huge black spider sat down on a strangely shaped astronauts head and laid a very big green hens egg. Then it suddenly hatched creating a talking slipper that jumped through a burning ring of fire lit by a rather large curry eating monster of the dark cloud made of salt. It then landed in a creature's left nostril. "Phew!" Wow that hurt! And it felt like a flaming donkey doo-doo! Sparks, luminescent, erupted from a volcana and went pop like rice krispies in the morning with too much dynomite flavored milk. To add zing and endurance with his pus collection with every bite! Then he needed to use the porta potty filled with boiling M&M's that were poisonous. So he rang the door bell which activated a swinging trapeze team who did a... a loop in and fell into subtle innuendos followed after schizophrenic nemisis into a volcano.


thankyou to warbaby for starting the craze :)

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